Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
