i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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