singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
