Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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