finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
