HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
