His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
be right there i have to get my cape
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
