Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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