I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
