Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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