We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
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What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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