I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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