you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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