I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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