yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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