Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
