I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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