Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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