hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there is glitter all over my balls
Shame is for Republicans.
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