somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
