I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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