And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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