Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
