i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
