I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
