tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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