Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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