Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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