Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
