you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
