There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
