And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
