Christians are straight up FREAKS
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
