No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
