You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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