Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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