This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
