When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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