Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
