# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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