So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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