pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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