also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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