i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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