I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
