my vag is so smooth its legendary
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize