I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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