Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
