The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
