i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
