Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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