the new term for farting is butt boxing.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
