you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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