i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
