Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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