Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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