I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Drunk is not a location!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
