so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
