how can u be prego again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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