You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
