she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
