Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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