Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
