their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
