TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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