How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
