Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
