he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
