So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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